hard to be littlest
I have so much more sympathy for my little sister now.
When I was growing up, I had iron-clad notions of what was fair and what was not. And I was certain that everything in life had to be FAIR. Including the ages that we were allowed to do something. If I had to wait until I was a certain age to do some highly-coveted activity, then it was only FAIR that my sister have to wait until she was the exact same age before she was allowed to do it too. If my parents decided she could handle said activity too and didn't make her wait, I was furious. Oh, the injustice!
Well, now that I'm a mom and I'm watching my youngest, forlornly left behind while her two older sisters do all kinds of things that she's too young for, I'm getting a whole new sense of how hard it must be to be the littlest. I'm thinking of enrolling her in all kinds of things a year or two earlier than her sisters did them, because I can see just how badly she wants to do them too.
Let's take swimming lessons, for instance. Neither of my other girls took swimming lessons until they were 4 years old. But, because Lucy is 4 now, that means that Evie was the only one left sitting on the sidelines this summer. The first day, she patiently watched and waited while they got in the pool with their respective swimming instructors and had a great time. The second day, she must have concluded that it was her turn. When I told her sisters to start getting their swimming suits on, that it was time to head to the pool, Evie clasped her hands in front of her chest, looked up at me with her big blue eyes, and said earnestly, "I can't WAIT to fwim!"
Gently, I told her that she would not be having swimming lessons that day. "But we can go to the pool a different time, when it's not during lessons," I said. "You can swim with mommy then!"
All the joy went out of her face. She scowled at me. "NO!" she said. "I fwim wiff a TEACHER!"
But she didn't. She had to wait, every day for two weeks, while her sisters took lessons and she didn't. We did take her to the pool on a different day, and she did get to swim, but I know it wasn't the same.
Now I'm thinking...am I really going to make her be left out again next summer, just because she'll only be 3 instead of 4?
And school. Oh, school. Every day Beth goes off to first grade. And every other day Lucy goes off to preschool too. When we came home after that first dual drop-off and I unbuckled only the one kiddo from the back seat of the car, Evie just seemed confused. "Where Beff?" she said. "Where Woo-cy?"
"They're at school," I told her. "You get to come home and have a SNACK! With MOMMY!"
I don't think she was impressed.
She seemed cheerful enough, though, and after her snack she wandered off into the playroom. I heard her babbling to herself, playing with the toys for awhile, and then it got quiet. I went in and found her lying on the floor all alone, wrapped up in her blankie.
"Watcha doing?" I asked. "Are you playing?"
"No." she said simply. "I not."
Whenever we pick Lucy up at preschool, Evie zooms into the classroom, wandering around, playing with the toys, making herself completely at home. You can tell that she wants so much to be a part of things, just like her big sisters.
She's straining to grow up, pushing forward as fast as she can. But I just don't want to let go of my baby yet.
When I was growing up, I had iron-clad notions of what was fair and what was not. And I was certain that everything in life had to be FAIR. Including the ages that we were allowed to do something. If I had to wait until I was a certain age to do some highly-coveted activity, then it was only FAIR that my sister have to wait until she was the exact same age before she was allowed to do it too. If my parents decided she could handle said activity too and didn't make her wait, I was furious. Oh, the injustice!
Well, now that I'm a mom and I'm watching my youngest, forlornly left behind while her two older sisters do all kinds of things that she's too young for, I'm getting a whole new sense of how hard it must be to be the littlest. I'm thinking of enrolling her in all kinds of things a year or two earlier than her sisters did them, because I can see just how badly she wants to do them too.
Let's take swimming lessons, for instance. Neither of my other girls took swimming lessons until they were 4 years old. But, because Lucy is 4 now, that means that Evie was the only one left sitting on the sidelines this summer. The first day, she patiently watched and waited while they got in the pool with their respective swimming instructors and had a great time. The second day, she must have concluded that it was her turn. When I told her sisters to start getting their swimming suits on, that it was time to head to the pool, Evie clasped her hands in front of her chest, looked up at me with her big blue eyes, and said earnestly, "I can't WAIT to fwim!"
Gently, I told her that she would not be having swimming lessons that day. "But we can go to the pool a different time, when it's not during lessons," I said. "You can swim with mommy then!"
All the joy went out of her face. She scowled at me. "NO!" she said. "I fwim wiff a TEACHER!"
But she didn't. She had to wait, every day for two weeks, while her sisters took lessons and she didn't. We did take her to the pool on a different day, and she did get to swim, but I know it wasn't the same.
Evie, patiently sitting out while her sisters swim.
And school. Oh, school. Every day Beth goes off to first grade. And every other day Lucy goes off to preschool too. When we came home after that first dual drop-off and I unbuckled only the one kiddo from the back seat of the car, Evie just seemed confused. "Where Beff?" she said. "Where Woo-cy?"
"They're at school," I told her. "You get to come home and have a SNACK! With MOMMY!"
I don't think she was impressed.
She seemed cheerful enough, though, and after her snack she wandered off into the playroom. I heard her babbling to herself, playing with the toys for awhile, and then it got quiet. I went in and found her lying on the floor all alone, wrapped up in her blankie.
"Watcha doing?" I asked. "Are you playing?"
"No." she said simply. "I not."
Whenever we pick Lucy up at preschool, Evie zooms into the classroom, wandering around, playing with the toys, making herself completely at home. You can tell that she wants so much to be a part of things, just like her big sisters.
My big little girl.
She's straining to grow up, pushing forward as fast as she can. But I just don't want to let go of my baby yet.
4 comments:
Story of my life! Only until I have hit my late 20's have I finally not been the "littlest". I feel Evies pain! :) She loves her sisters, such a great thing to have sisters!
Awww - the wrapped in the blanket, not playing - that tears at the heart, doesn't it? I remember my sister saying things like "well, you need to be 10 to do this" and then when I finally reached 10, she changed the tune "no, you have to be 12". Always, always behind... ;)
Oh my goodness. Sniff.
I, too, was the oldest and suffered the injustice of my sisters getting to do things at a younger age than I got to do them.
I don't think I will ever feel sorry for my oldest self again. (Not that I still do AT ALL.) Being the youngest must be SO hard. Poor little Evie! Her plight as the youngest broke my heart.
At least she can someday take comfort in that she will always be something her older sisters can never be -- your baby.
Um, I started kindergarten a year early because I was SO desperate to be like Jeanne. :) And to think, if I hadn't learned to read early so I could go to school, we wouldn't have been classmates!
Hang in there, Evie! I feel your pain, Sweetie!
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